Shows over folks
by ParanoidParrot076
Summary: (((Chapter 3 is somewhere else on the internet...)))
1. Chapter 1

It's a warm summer day. Birds fly by and trees sway peacefully in the wind. The suburb. A place where Sounds of shuffling emanates from the garage of the smiths family. Inside, a blue haired scientist works frantically on an invention, cursing silently at his small mistakes in his haste. From behind him walks Morty, a small kid with no real defining feature aside from an inherited speech impediment and crippling insecurity.

"Hey there, Rick, what you working on?" Morty says, puzzled at why Rick was in a haste.

"Morty, I gotta a-ask you something. L-listen real closely, alright?" Rick says, dropping what he was doing and grabbing Morty by the shoulders and looking him in the eyes with his own bloodshot ones.

"I want you to look at that table there and describe it in absolute detail. Every spec, every single crack, I want you t-to describe it! Now!" Rick commands, pushing Morty at the desk.

"Aw, geez Rick, this dosen't seem neccisary. I mean, It's a table. Its brown, and y-know. I-Its got stuff on it."

"NO Morty, you're missing the point! Nothing in this world has ANY defining features! Only you and me! I can barely see what I'm working on unless I talk about it out loud! I mean look at this!"

Rick points to what looks like a mess of metal parts with components ramshackle'd onto it.

"GOD DAMMIT! Why did we have to be sent here of all places?!" Rick shouts, realising he has not created what he wished.

"Rick, I think you're overreacting. I haven't noticed anything strange." Morty says.

"That's because you've never travelled to as many dimensions as I have! There are some dimensions w-where you can lose your virginity over and over again to a tree! A FUCKING TREE MORTY! Do you know how that feels?! But no, were somewhere far worse than that…"

Rick looks outside, seeing the normal sky and normal suburb. Nothing strange at all about it.

"We're in a fanfiction." Rick says dramatically.

"W-what?!" Morty says shocked.

"Look, even now I feel like I'm being controlled by some preteen doochebag in his underwear right now, but we can count ourselves lucky that he's a real stickler for a 'cannon' approach." Rick says, rummaging through a box. "You don't w-wanna know what other 'writers' made me do or say, Morty, I-it's not something I'd wish on my worst enemy Morty. Because that's just sick."

He pulls out a Plumbus.

"W-what's that for?" Morty says. To that, Rick smiles.

"Morty, you wanna know why I always try to appeal to the 'crowd' that's always watching us from some other dimension? Its c-cause then I get some kind of inter dimensional plot armor! But one thing I'm s-sure we never explained to use was this baby." Rick says, stroking the fleem.

Morty looks at him confusedly.

Rick tears off the bulb from the Plumbus, and nothing happens.

"Just as I thought." Rick says.

"W-what, Rick?" Morty says.

"While the 'writer' may not know how that thing works, I do. That should be proof enough that we gotta get out of here. Only problem is that bastard hid the portal gun! And knowing that guy, if we don't entertain those snot nose r-readers out there, he's gonna leave us here to die!" Rick says, shaking Morty by the shoulders.

"Do you know what that means, Morty? C-can you even grasp the concept how how screwed we are?! We gotta trust that the fatass writing this wont stop, or were stuck here!" Rick says, shaking Morty one last time.

"Ok! Ok Rick! B-but how do we get back? You said someone was controlling us?" Morty says,

"Well, for starters, we do this,"

*CRACK!*

"There, that's better." Rick says, having pushed a button and changing the universe slightly.

"W-wow Rick, w-what did you do?" Morty says, flabbergasted.

"I made this world feel a little more like home. That guy may think he has control, but I make my own rules mothafuckaaaaa!" Rick says, flipping off our general direction somehow.

"Ok, so we can see things better now. Now what?" Morty says, nihilisticly.

"We entertain, Morty. If we get through enough chapters, evertually the readers may like us enough to bully the writer to finish it. And if I have it my way, I'll kill him afterwords."

"W-woah, Rick! Are you sure you wanna say that?" Morty says.

"Don't worry, Morty, t-*burp*-they probably think were fake or some shit. They never expect it." Rick says, taking a swig of his flask.

"Catch us next time, folks! If you don't, we're gonna die! Really! Our blood will be on your hands!"

Chapter 1 end.


	2. Chapter 2 I'm not gonna die here!

The day has turned to night, our comrades busy playing around with their garbage spaceship. Or as you may want to believe, 'fixing' it. Rick shouts various obscenities at an unknown god of some sort, calling the 'writing style' lazy and uninspired.

"I can barely see anything you fuck! Describe the world or something! Its night and I'm in the garage! That's all I can see!" Rick shouts, having somehow taken initiative. The neighbourhood is dark aside from a few stray lights on in bedrooms and streetlamps. The sky is alight with stars and all is peaceful.

"HA! Shows what you know! Stars don't shine in the suburbs idiot! The lights block them out!" Rick shouts, noticing the world becoming more defined but focusing only on the fact that stars are visible.

Morty comes from the livingroom door carrying a box of supplies, Rick refusing to relay the contents to anyone.

"Alright, Morty, d-do you got everything? All the stuff on the list?" Rick says, looking secretively through the box.

"Yeah, Rick, its all there. And why are you hiding it so much? There's nobody around." Morty asks.

"Because, idiot, time between chapters is the only time we can do whatever the fuck we want, and I don't want that crr-creep to see what's in this box! Sure, we're essentially without any of our senses, but a genius like me has ways of getting around that."

Rick doesn't elaborate further, giving a corner of the room the stinkeye.

"And they don't need to know…" Rick says, starting up the ship and flying out of the garage. They soon leave the planet's atmosphere, heading towards a planet similar to the spider ice-cream planet but without the spiders or people, only aliens.

"Oh, real professional description, you really painted a Picasso with that statement, didn't you?" Rick says in a condescending manner, Morty confusedly looking at him.

"Rick, w-who're you talking to" Morty asks confusedly.

"Isn't it obvious by now? I built a device that allowed me to see what the story is being written as in the 4rth dimension. Luckily this guy wrote in some bullshit science that made it possible for me to even conceive this as a possibility." Rick explains, landing the ship and hopping out.

"Alright, Morty, this world is nothing like what you're used to seeing in our adventures. This entire reality is at the mercy of a hormonal teenager with probable suicide problems or divorce issues. So don't do anything to set off a chain of events, got it?" Rick says, as if he had done this song and dance before.

"O-ok Rick, I'll try." Morty says, looking around at the strange inhabitants of the planet.

"You don't try, Morty, You do! Do this for Granpa, alright?" Rick says in a serious tone.

The 2 walk into a bar like establishment, aliens of all shapes and sizes going about their bar business as per usual.

"What, you mean like hookers and drugs? You gotta be specific right now cause I'm seeing a mixed bag of peanuts here." Rick interrupts, walking up to the bar.

"Yeah, I'd like to talk to your boss. Make it fast." Rick says to the barman, Morty unsurely walking towards the bar as well.

"Rick, why did we come here?"

"Think logically for a moment, Morty, where do all fanfictions ALWAYS end up? A bar. And why is that? Because everybody has an innate sense that they wanna drown their sorrows in a beer. They may not wanna admit to it, but they know it's true. And besides, it always signals a climax to a story, so I brought us to page 200 of out 300 page book in only a single chapter."

A burly man walks up to Rick and taps him on the shoulder, Rick shrugging him off.

"Look, buddy, you may not realize this, but your reality won't exist in a few days, so you may as well try not being a dick while you can." Rick says, drinking from his own flask of mystery juice.

The burly hand now aggressively grabs Rick by the shoulder, twisting him around and slugging him in the face. Rick flies back into a bunch of bar tables, Morty panicking. He runs over to Rick, flailing and showing concern.

"What did I tell you about causing a scene, Morty? This is all your falult Morty." Rick says, Morty annoyed at the obvious shift in blame.

The burly guy walks up to finish what he started, but Rick pulls out his gun and blasts the guy in the head, a headless corpse left over.

The bar goes silent. Suddenly, a gun brawl of lasers bursts out. Rick begins to panic and shout obscenities;

"Oh my god! This guy want's to kill us! We're fucked, Morty! I don't know how we can get my portal gun if this guy's planning to kill us off!" Rick says, ducking under a table, dragging Morty with him.

"W-why not just make the readers, ya-know, bully the writer?" Morty says, offering a bad suggestion.

"Morty, I'm Rick, I'm essentially a god! If I ask for help I'd look weak! And that means people will leave, and we'd be stuck in this hell forever!" Rick says, shooting his gun at an approaching gunner.

"Aw, geez Rick, I'm really bad in situations of stress." Morty says, light-bulbing Rick.

"That's it! What If I made a virus and injected it into the writers computer? That way he either uploads when I want, or I format his whole drive!"

"Whoa, Rick! Isn't that risky?" Morty says, horrified.

"If I had It my way, I'd threaten him with a gun. This way he know's I'm not joking around. If he has any concept of infinite dimensions, he knows I could very well be targeting his computer. And then him."

"B-but wont that mean he'll try to kill us off faster?"

"Don't worry morty, if I know one thing about these writers, they have 'standards' that they'll die for."

Chapter 2


End file.
